~*you think...*~

Have not been moaning and whining here for a while and just feel like whine a bit today...

There are a lot of times in our lives we are expecting something, maybe openly, publicly or some expectations in disguise. However, there are a lot of times when this expectations fail and we get dissapointed.

What if? These dissapointments keep occuring and these are coming from some of the people that are closest to you? Well, I do not know if whether any research or facts show that dissapointments will cause any heartache or hurt feelings? But, it certainly is doing some degree of damage to the feelings to the heart.

Just when "you think", this person will stand beside you when you needed supports, then you turned around, this person is standing on the opposite side.

Just when "you think", this person will say some encouraging words to you when you needed that lift after a failure. Instead this person might be giving you another step on the head.

Just when "you think", this person will put a hand on your shoulder instead of a hug to give you comfort when you are logging to feel that you are being loved. Instead maybe a slap across the face... (not literally but it's a metaphor)

Just when "you think"! Tough luck... toughen up yourself better than being soft cookies waiting to be pampered... You think la!

~*NO TIME*~

Oh my oh my!! Seriously no time! I have no time to sleep... No time to watch my favourite TV show, No time to catch up with family and friends... No time to do any excercise and no time to eat. Crazy huh?

I know the worse is still yet to come. The month of April will just be concentrating with my Bridal Fair coming up end of the month. For the first week of the month I should just finalise all design and programme and ad should all be coming out on the second week.

But you know what? All the effort and time that comes with passion to work will be rewarded in the future! I BELIEVE!!

This is because - I can't wait for the trip to go to SH in May!!!!! :D

~*How Much Does It Takes?*~

It takes 100 degree celcius to boil the water,
The melting point of solid ice is 0 degree celcius.

It takes a lot,
to me to get mad.

I was in deep thinking mode,
a silent mode for a while...

~*Ask Him*~

My heart is pounding,

It's not showing on my face.

My hands are trembling,
You can't see it in my eyes.

I'm travelling,
On a journey,
A journey that I should not be fear.

~*Names Picking*~

If I am a parent and needs to pick a name for my child, it's definitely going to be a disaster!!!!
Too much of a perfectionist in this case. Pick and choose for something that is going to be lingered around for the rest of the life is just so hard.

I need to pick a name for my baby a.k.a my business is not so easy. This is going to be representing MOI and reputation of the business. I need a name that is mature and fit my company's image!

My baby's nickname is going to be Miss B'z!

~*Untitled*~

This is strange... I'm never a big fan of confrontation.

Bringing the matter up close and personal is just something that rarely happen in my life...

But I have done it... to the person who I most respect; who I never say 'no' to...

Yet, I'm not regretted... but my heart is feeling very heavy now.

~*Motivation*~

Having been an angry-crazy woman from my last post; a month later I have learnt to be a more positive and wiser person.

For the past couples of months, I have encountered a lot of different bizzare cases and been dealing with all sorts of different people. It has been a wonderful experience after all, which I do believe not a lot of people will go through the same path as I did.

As for now, I have finally have a chance to think about my plan for the near future. Really, a lot have been changed. My initial intentions and plan to come back to my hometown, doesn't seem like it have serve much of a purpose right now. As my thinking and what I am doing right now have a significant variance from my previous thinking.

1. I am not living with my immediate family. I only get to see them every fortnight for a weekend. (No I'm not in a rehab centre)

2. I do not think of moving over to Singapore for now. (yes, it's because of the recession and my current thinking have been changed)

3. I have not been to travelling with mum since I got back. (simple don't have the time)

I was once confused and angry, but I'm not anymore.

To share: Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail. ~ Someone

~*When I should be...*~

When I should be talking about crystals and nice bracelets;
I am stuck with truck tyres and bearings...
When I should be talking about handbags and perfurmes;
I am stuck with vehicle lubricants and diesel...
When I should be talking about shoppings and high-tea;
I am stuck in the jungle and looking at crops...

Where I should be having appointments for facial and haircut;
I am stuck in discussions talking about different types of heavy mahinery...

When I should be having a nice glass of wine after a day of work;
I was fast asleep by 9pm with my hair still wet...

When I should be a nice person and taking things easy;

instead I have yelled and made a lot of noises in front of four ground staff and one operator at a supermarket.

Yes... I think I am getting mad...

~The Aftermath*~

After months of rushing here and there, it's time to slow down and seek for directions. I am the kind of person who always go back to the basic when things have started to turn blurry and complicated. As we have started from the fundamental of a purpose or a goal, so our actions and decisions that we have made served the foundations towards to goal that we are heading to.

In a lot of times, we have lost our directions due to external and internal factors hence making us all confused and might be making us starting going through a different track. Not necessary to be the wrong track, but different track. So, when this happens, it's time to go back to the basic.

However, the aftermath of all the movings; cleaning; packing; wedding and touring. I have started to feel just a liiiitle bit of demotivated. It may just means that I need some rest.

IF... only IF I get to choose where to go, this will be the place:

Shangari La Rasa Ria Resort

It is really a place to be... why?



This is the wedding pavillion, it is so beautiful that I even said I will have my wedding ceremony here. lol...

I would love to stay here and just enjoy the sun with some cold drinks on my hand for the afternoon and put my feet up... such a divine sensation.


Last but not least of course the Cost Bar and Restaurant.

~*Plan? No Plan?*~

Six months ago, I have planned a plan.

Within six months the economy starts to deteriorate in a way that it was describe as "financial tsunami". Then everyone been asking me if this is the right time to leave and go on my OE. Actually, I don't know what is going to happen. But I should try, if I don't try I never know if this is going to work nor if I can do what I want to in a different country.

My room is almost packed and soft toys are all packed in two bags one to take with me and the other one to stay back. Don't think I can take all my beloved CDs and DVDs with me.

So far about 98% of my friends and family reckon that I will be back in Auckland soon. I mean... i would be happy to be back home and home as in Auckland. But, this idea is a bit silly....

Oh well, I have a plan, more plans are coming up.

Anyhow, I shall look forward to my simple life! THEN... I will decide where I'm going next.

~*The Time Is Close*~

It's not even that long to go until I departed this city. Actually, none of the things that seems to be 100% completed and ready to leave here.

The house has been cleaned out (mostly). Managed to throw out the old and donate some better things, sold some of the newwer stuff and been given stuff away to friends and family who needed them.

For a long time, I finally managed to see the corners of my garage; the nice big dinning room and set up a study room. While this all seem really nice, it's time to say Good byes.

I have started to say my goodbyes since last week. So been having dinners; lunch and drinks but still more to come this week and the following week. My timetable is now all full... and anxiety have started to arised...

I know I shouldn't be worry too much, sometimes you just can't help it.

IT's going to be hard to say goodbyes to my friends...

My dear friends...

~*Mix Feelings*~

We have gone through the time tunnel.
My place; coffee and cakes. These are the stuff and gathering that the inner group will have almost every fortnightly or at least once a monce. After FranFran brought us the apple turnover, pizza sticks, caramel slice, cream donut and etc. ^o^

These food brought back the old memories, the good old memories from good ol Howick College. How were the teachers used to do treat us; our favourite teachers and our worse class.
The places/blocks that we used to hang out.
Wagging is like the highlights of my college years. lol...

So we took a trip back our old school Howick College::

The entrance have changed soooo much, it's now more sophisticated and nice. ;)


This is one of the route that have not changed. The same H and T Blocks, same path and same rubbish bins (according to Franfran)


Hey... they have handle down the stairs now!! I remembered how I used to walk down the hill with my heads down as I do not know how to enjoy student life... back in the days...

This little walk always seems longer back in the days... When we look at it now, it seems a lot shorter... Guess course, we have been through a longer path...

Yay!! On the field...

Canteen... backed in the days, it's where the "Most looking forward place" of a day. You will find me here buying my everyday lunch here...

It's been 10years since I left school... It's such a enjoyable walk around here... So happy that I have my old buddies walking around the school together one more time. ^^

~*Towards to end of Sep*~

It's heading towards the end of September, this means I only have another month to go.

Feeling anxious and started to feel emotional as the departure is getting closer and closer.

Anxious, because I have a lot of take care and worry that I am not able to have everything sorted before I go.

Emotional.... I will miss my friends.... !!!

~*Happy... It's Easy*~

Being happy is not a very hard task. You will always meet people with lots to worries. You might be one of them in one point, or you might see a lot of people going through all these worries and uncertainties hence feeling all insecure.

I might still have my ups and downs at times. However, at least now I know I can handle them better.

When I started this blog I have named it "The Journey". As I know life is a journey and would like to record it down. Things that I am going through; things that I have been through and wonder... where/how I come out from the other end.

There are a few changes that are happening in my life at the moment. Not only planning of the departure of Auckland... The place that I live all through my teenage years and early adults life. Memories and a sense of comfort have been built. Now I have decided that I should move out from my comfort zone and start a new life... Cause I believe this is how you can grow. Again this is a journey.

Then, of course. I am feeling closer to God. This have really made a huge different in my life... Knowing you can let God be the driver of your life and HE is always so unconditionally love us. I have put my worries behind. This will be a journey too... taking steps... One by one...

~*Grey Skies*~

It looks likes we are now in the middle of Autumn and it has been raining for the past three days. The whole city is so grey and wet, which has totally effected my mood. But, I know I can not be effected because of the weather.

Recently, there are a lot of things happening and that got me thinking. With my problem I can always think too far and hence not able to bounced back, eventually from a very optimistic thoughts lead to pessimistic thinking. These "things" that I have been thinking about, well, some of them I can share it and to a point they are sick of me talking about it and some of these "things" appeared that I am the only person who can solve it.

Have I been happy recently? I think I have, but my "thinking" have started taking a toll over my emotions. Have you ever felt so vulnerable? Like so fragile that you can be broken with just a single touch? Some might not notice this as you look just fine and solid from the outside, but really, what's inside are all hollow.

A caring hug might send you to tears and a concern phone call from someone you love might fill up some of the empty spaces.

Quote to share: "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty." Mother Teresa

I'm in a journey.... I'm IN...